JESTER QUEST ACT 2: THE UNPAUSENING
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12/12/25
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Wizard: Enjoy restful slumber.
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[S] Hella Soul: Use the power of the CORE to escape Hell.
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[S] Jester: Move on.
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Jester: Achieve meme equilibrium by reviving a meme from exactly halfway between 2007 and 2025.
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Jester: Wield SHADOW SCYTHE.
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Jester: Contemplate your journey.
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Jester: Check in on advance scout team.
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Jester: Engage tactical espionage jester mission.
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[S] ENGAGE!
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Cejestial Tulpa: Speak with Cyberflothers 50th gen.
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JESTER TULPAS: ENGAGE IN JESTERCEST.
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Jester: RUN RUN RUN
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Jester: Run.
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Jester: Scream
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[S] Jacques Chirac: Ascend.
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Jester: Commune with the Great Cejestial Space Horse.
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[S] Jesters: Merge.
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Jester: Turn yourself into a pickle.
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Jester: Return to the bunker
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Flinderbud: Ascend tuah godhood
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Watch out for that flinder, bud!
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Hawk: Fast forward in time
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Hawk: Fly the nest
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Jester: You're not you when your hungry, eat something.
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[S] Jester: Die in a dignified yet overdramatic way
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Mecha Hawk Tuah: Spit on that thing.
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Jester: Go to Hell.
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be reborn
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Jester: Vibrate against the bunker door in an attempt to phase straight through it.
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Jester: Consult Wench.
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Jester: Attempt to score a "JACKPOT" and gamble to earn Bard Quest fundraiser cash (or weed money).
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Jester: What the hell just happened?
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Cejestial Tulpa: Wander
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Weed Jester: Offer everyone some weed to get them on your side.
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Jester: Have Gay Awakening
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Jester: Jump out of the window.
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Jester: Fly on your magic leaf.
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[S] Jester: Ride.
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Jester: Read Jester Quest.
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Jester: Exit command fort.
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Jester: Vibrate against the bunker door in an attempt to phase straight through it.
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Jester: Become embroiled in a Situation
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Jester: Retrieve cheese pretty please oh please get the cheese oh please please
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Be a future jester.
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09/11/25
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Jester: ALACK WITH THOSE LUDICROUS GARBS, GET RID
09/11/25
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Jester: IT IS BECOMING UNBEARABLY HOT IN HERE. PLEASE DO AWAY WITH YOUR CLOTHING. TO AVOID OVERHEATING.
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Jester: IT IS OBVIOUS YOUR LESS-THAN-STELLAR BEDIZENRY IMPEDES YOUR MOVEMENT. MAKE HASTE AND DISCARD YOUR CLOTHES AT ONCE. PLEASE?
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Jester: IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY. I DEMAND THAT YOU REMOVE YOUR GARMENTS, PLEASE
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Jester: OOOH, HERES AN IDEA! UNDRESS. YES YES! THIS IS MOST IMPERATIVE. YOU MUST BEGIN WITH. HMMM. LETTING YOUR JESTERLY REAR FACE THE OPEN AIR. FOR VENTILATION PURPOSES? YES. QUICKLY NOW
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Jester: impress jollacrity with some crazy plot shit introducing like 5 to 6 new meters and mechanics
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Jester: do a sick one rep max heavy as shit bench press to amaze jollacrity with your mirthful muscles
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Jester: Stress out over the fact Jollacrity probably saw your Very Humorous dance earlier. You looked very silly.
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Jester: Approach JOLLACRITY
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Jester: Hide from your feelings inside your Command Fort.
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Jester: Throw bust at bunker door
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Jester: Place Hella jester next to togore
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Jester: Look for your cyanide pills only to realize that they were unfortunately used in some unknown shenanigans between when you were Past Jester and when you started being Future Jester.
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One of the Jester: say hi to Shrek 🙂 and eridan too i guess idc
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Jester: Suddenly remember your quirky bunker-mate Poffy who has been just out of view this whole time.
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Jester: Eat CHIRP CRICKET.
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Jester: try to use chirp cricket to block out Jollacrity
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Jester: Realize her name was JOLLACRITY all along and immediately correct all previous mentions of a PROTREPTIC RHAPSODIST. There was never anything like that you think. Anyone else saying otherwise must clearly be braindead, and should seek counseling with a nearby stump and a gun immediately.
09/10/25
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Jester: Ask the PROTREPTIC RHAPSODIST if she is single.
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09/10/25
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Jester: Be future Jester
09/10/25
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Jester: Be yourself 20 minutes from now
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09/10/25
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Jester: continue to stop being the other guy
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09/09/25
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Hawk: Tuah
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Jester: Reference an irrelevant popular internet culture meme with excruciating lateness and make everybody hate you faster than you can say "cejestial tulpa".
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Weed Jester: Do another very humorous dance that pleases significantly less people
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Jester: Be WEED JESTER.
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Jester: Hit your vape in an attempt to create a METAL JESTER heavy enough to fall into the comic properly.
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Build SPAMGORG
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Jester: Have your food lovers engage in sweet, passionate love
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09/09/25
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Jester: Ponder the possibility of a second, smaller bunker made of used cans for your lovers. They may desire privacy.
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Jester: Assemble the spam cans into a memorial for the most recent tragedy in your memory of American history, one you'll never forget.
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09/08/25
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Jester: Smoke a fat one and begin the spiritual journey toward summoning your cejestial tulpa
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09/08/25
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Jester: Consult the first pages of Jester Quest to find your next course of action.
09/08/25
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Jester: Do a very humorous dance that pleases everyone
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Jester: Check Bard Quest one more time, just to be safe.
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09/08/25
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Form a Jester Lover out of beans and Spam.
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Jester: Throw a tantrum and spill beans all over the keyboard in a brash moment of overreaction.
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09/08/25
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Jester: Heed Protreptic Rhapsodist.
09/08/25
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Click the latest page.
09/07/25
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Click first page.
09/07/25
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Reflect remorsefully on your squandered life.
09/07/25
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Click LOG.
09/07/25
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Next.
09/07/25
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