Your crush, you mean your Rhapsodist, plucks an idea from heaven, penned by the one named "Witch of Void". You were hoping you'd be told to do this, because you fucking LOVE Shrek. Shrek the Third, which was released on May 18, 2007, was in fact the last film you saw before sealing yourself in this bunker. The PUMPKIN JESTER steps forward to perform this act, since they have designated themself as the biggest Shrek fan of all the jesters. This isn't true of course, they were only the fastest to volunteer, and all the other jesters begin grumbling.
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