You are a simple jester who has been waiting diligently for an update to your favorite story, Bard Quest, since it went on hiatus in 2007. It's been 18 years of tireless mashing on the refresh button, to no avail. You've been staring at the most recent page, where the bard and his two servants encounter a swamp wizard. God, what you wouldn't give to know what happens next. There have been times where you almost lost faith, and stopped refreshing. But you always come crawling back in the off chance the author hasn't forgotten about his unforgivable negligence to the loyal BQ fandom, which may or may not consist of exactly one parasocially obsessed jester.

Wait, you're going to the dark place again. You swore about 10 years ago... or maybe 15, you forget... that you would start thinking only positive and optimistic thoughts about the beautiful unfinished tale that is Bard Quest, and limit yourself to a maximum of TEN FOUL THOUGHTS per day about the author of this magnificent opus. You return to your cheerful disposition about Bard Quest, and consider that today could be THE DAY that it updates again. Crazier things have happened! Such as you locking yourself in this room in 2007 and programming it not to let you out until BQ is finished, as a melodramatic sign of your passion for this tale.

Alas, it appears another day has passed without an update to Bard Quest. You chuckle anxiously, as you glance at your dwindling stockpile of bunker rations which you bought from a survivalist supply store 18 years ago. You bought a 20 year supply, mostly as a joke, because you figured the hiatus might last a few months at most. But now you're getting a bit nervous. In your nervousness, your finger jitters and accidentally clicks the mouse on a link you never noticed before.