As you expected, a great hero has emerged from the cacophonous rabble of your severely damaged psyche and plucked your true, dignified, christian name from your circus-addled memory.
Your name is BITSY BUTTONS.
It was given to you by your dear departed mother. She told you once, in her final words to you as she was trampled to death in a horse stampede, that it was a cherished family name dating back generations. She urged you to take it extremely seriously, to never let anyone make fun of it or mistake it for a clown name, and finally, to NEVER join the circus. She made you swear this with her dying breath.
How far you have fallen.
Of course, upon joining the circus for reasons somewhat beyond your control, you encountered your loathsome ringmaster who began making fun of your christian name immediately, sending you into a rage. Upon seeing that he struck a nerve, the ringmaster then decided to honor your family name, which definitely isn't a clown name, by giving you a TRUE clown name, and that's how you came to be known as Ballsweat Horsecock Jr.
Every single thing which has happened to you in the 20 years since at this circus has been absolutely horrible. You believe it is long past due that you attempt to BREAK OUT OF HERE!