1873 - Train Robbery 

Almost a decade later, HIC and the James brothers (Jesse and Frank) have formed a crime gang. HIC leads the gang from the shadows, posing as their mother, with the alias Zerelda. However, she keeps them as lovers as well. She has begun to amass a significant fortune from their criminal enterprises. They decide to rob a train in Iowa. 

Jesse and Frank, without assistance of HIC, board the train to rob it. They shoot most people on the train, and steal a bunch of things. They're interrupted by some complete drunken fool, a "southern gentleman" type with a mustache. It's Mark Twain (38), or one of his many aliases. He completely bamboozles them with a sort of drunken master performance that he has perfected over his many years as a successful con man and steamboat gambler. By the time he's done smooth-talking them, he has them genuinely believing some tall tale. He's ushered them into the caboose, locks them in, then separates the train which leaves them behind. He makes off with all their stolen loot, and leaves behind his card, which says "Colonel Sassacre". 

Back at their headquarters, HIC has taken up Earth baking as an obsessive hobby. Bizarre cakes are everywhere. Jesse and Frank think it's weird, but just go along with it. HIC is furious at the incompetence of her cowboy subordinates. Good help isn't easy to come by on this planet. She pines for the days of having a good supply of clown muscle to boss around. She examines Sassacre's card. She's impressed by his feats of guile and buffoonery. She puts it in her drawer.