Jade is so popular she knows people from the future.

I thought we would have seen her dreams so that I could have confirmed or disproved my theory that she gets visions while she dreams but NOOOO. Also…umh. I think her bed is reacting to her sleeping in it??

And transmitting some sort of signal to this thing, that is probably going to explode in a few moments.

WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT IS THAT THING. IT’S CREEPIER THAN LIL’ CAL.

WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THAT THING. WHO BUILT IT?? 

She’s dreaming… of being dressed in golden pajamas. The same she had in the photo on the fireplace…. Or maybe this IS a prediction. Of when she is in The Medium? That’s way too bright to be in The Medium though.

U-umh……..

Mystery arm, I will figure you out later. Now I have other things to worry about, don’t be jealous. And why is she dreaming of her room but without any poster on her walls? She replaced it with a cute pink pattern. 

Why would you try to sleep when you’re already sleeping. It’s dumber than when you told John to wake up when he was already awake! Listen, I get it. There is something incredibly weird going on with Jade and the way she sleeps/dreams. THE PROBLEM IS THAT I DON’T GET THE WHAT, THE WHY, OR THE HOW IT IS WEIRD. 

Is this REALLY a dream?? If the arms have an owner who has been creating some sort of portal in various places (Witch of Space, anyone?? Sounds like something they could do.) they will only show up in places that DO exist. Not in screenshots, not in other webcomics inserted (The characters of The Midnight Crew turned out to be characters of Homestuck), NOT IN DREAMS. But the point is that Jade IS dreaming. So basically I don’t know what I’m getting at, here. I NEED MORE INFORMATION. 

Also, this conversation/monologue offered by one Dave Strider:

I suddenly understand everything. And by that I mean even less, but at least I know what he meant. If she switched on her laptop and began texting someone, she would be doing this while sleeping. Or… her dreambot thingy would. But being narcoleptic she falls asleep suddenly and if she texted someone while sleeping she wouldn’t know if she was asleep in that moment or not.

Okay, it IS only a dream, then. Unless Jade can also fly and hasn’t told us. Which would be ridiculous because everyone knows if she could in reality she would never lay her feets on solid ground ever again. B-But the arms… it made sense….

WHAT. My list of ambiguous things Jade says is getting hard to navigate. There is too much crap in it.

At least one mystery is solved. John WAS called GT on pesterchum before. GT that stands for… Gamesome…. Troublemaker…. TOO LONG. Umh… GhostbusTer…. no…. Okay, I will just wait and see if/when it is revealed.

Well, it will be useful to John and blah blah blah… I’m not giving her nor Andrew Hussie the satisfaction of getting angry at this.

Excuse me but…… what are those drawings?? Are those harlequins?? They are harlequins. …..John? Did you….? You hate harlequins?? Don’t pull this Rose Lalonde’s crap on me, John. DON’T YOU DARE. YOU HATE HARLEQUINS.

….He really does! He has demonstrated it plenty of times! Not like Rose’s denial! I mean… real hate! Why am I trying to convince myself??

But why, assuming it was John (who else could have been??? DAD??? c'mon. and John doesn’t even have IRL friends) did he draw those in the first place??

On the other hand if DAD saw those……….. OH. In his supportive campaign of making John feel appreciated and loved… he would— This is idiotic. He would embrace the harlequin love without a second thought.They have been subjected to months, possibly years, of clown décor abuse because???? John one day snapped and vandalized his favorite posters???? What.

He also cleaned them up, that should have been a strong sign that it was a one time sort of deal. DAD should slow the fuck down.

JOHN, IF INSTEAD IT TURNS OUT YOU ACTUALLY LIKE HARLEQUINS, I DON’T KNOW WHAT I MIGHT DO.

GHOSTYTRICKSTER. Never stop being a nerd, John.

So on time she only got it today.

Doesn’t everyone send presents to everyone else?? I thought that’s how it worked. …Well, everyone but you does it, Jade. You didn’t send a present to Rose and I’m still pissed about it.

John is really thoughtful of all his friends. It’s really good because it counterbalances the fact that he can get kind of self-centered at times. And it also seems he knows them pretty well. Like… with Rose, her present was not only thoughtful but exactly what she needed. John knew of her problems, even without realizing how serious they were, and acted consequently to efficaciously help her to solve them. What I’m trying to say is that John is not dumb, just pretty dense. He is a smart kiddo with a long way to go. I look forward to his loooooong character development. He should basically become more responsible and rush less into things, STILL I hope he does without losing his carefree attitude, which is one of the most charming parts of his personality, if you ask me.

HE KNOWS!?!? Jade’s secret circle of friends is not secret???

NOOOO, I SAID TWENTY. I’M NOT READING FIFTY INTRODUCTIONS, I’M SEARCHING FOR ANOTHER, EASIER TO UNDERSTAND, WEBCOMIC. BYYYEEEE.

INTERESTING. I think it’s pretty safe to assume that Jade only has premonitions about things and people that belong to her session of the game. The trolls, since they most probably are not players of her session, are out of her range. And I think Jade can only foresee events that happen INSIDE The Medium, not out of it. It would explain why the meteors momentarily freaked her out, and why she didn’t know the name of the game. And also confirm Jaspersprite as a thing that is going to happen. She doesn’t know of the prototyping process, she just SAW Jaspersprite. ALSO, it would explain why she never mentioned the possibility of prototyping her grandpa. She doesn’t know that is a thing she can do.

TWELVE I CAN WORK WITH.

……..Us?!?!? Jade’s secret circle of friends is not secret, nor Jade’s?

…Why does Jade put up with this??? And stop being so mature about it, it’s throwing me off.

And JADE, the kid you’re talking to is a proud exponent of the pranksters’ ranks, you’re personally offending him. And the last time someone said something was just a game, it was John and he was talking about SBURB. Just to put things into perspective.

YEARS????? WHAT????? YEARS?????? HARASSING HER??????? WHY??????? THAT’S FUCKING DEDICATION, WHAT THE HECK.

Can I meet the funny ones?? Or just a short conversation… I’m not asking for much…

And thinking about CG, if I had been trying to change her mind for YEARS, to help her not fuck up, but she wouldn’t listen to a word, I guess I would go in a CAPS LOCK frenzy too. I need to see their first conversation. And I have a mighty need for a conversation between Rose and CG, just because. 

Jade and CG’s first conversation at like… eight years old.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG] at 13:04

CG: hello!!!
GG: hi!!! do i know you?
CG: it’s not important! this might sound weird, but i need to tell you something about the future! :o
GG: it’s not weird at all! i understand! what is it? :)
CG: really?? oh, well. you’re going to do something in the future, when you’re older. that something is a big mistake!! don’t do it!!
GG: don’t tell me what to do! i do what i want!!!
CG: what? no, i’m only trying to help!!
GG: my grandpa says i shouldn’t care about people who tell me what to do!
CG: well, my grandpa says you’re lame!!
GG: my grandpa says that bossy people are assholes!!!
CG: MY GRANDPA SAYS YOUR GRANDPA SHOULD JUST GO AND DIE!
GG: :o!!!!!!!!

gardenGnostic [GG] blocked carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 13:06

And so it began…. A beautiful friendship. CG has a short temper.To anyone wondering: did she really make CG say the thing? Yes, I really made CG say the thing. To anyone wondering: are those dumb pesterlogs the reason she takes so much time to liveblog five pages? Yes, those dumb pesterlogs the reason I take so much time to liveblog five pages. I write them only when inspiration strikes, and for my own amusement. I hope you enjoy them even a little bit.

There he goes. EctoBiologist. He doesn’t even know what it means. I’m betting on a certain anthropomorphical plushie’s lover psychic giving him the idea. In another conversation, obviously. Jade really should stop giving away spoilers to her friends, it’s gonna mess up something someday.

WHAT THE FUCK. THIS IS IN THE PRESENT, RIGHT??

You sure it was the imps, honey??

THEY ARE THE SAME OF MONTHS AGO.

It wasn’t the imps!!!! John, you did it again!!! ….I think. This is ridiculous. Was it the shock of seeing his dad’s room?? Maybe I shouldn’t have shrugged it off as comedy relief… Maybe it hit him harder than I thought! Oh, man. John was the only kid who gave me a break from worrying about the mental health of the characters.

SHE BROUGHT THE HUB WITH HER I HADN’T NOTICED

This is better than anything I thought she could have come up with.

IF ANYONE ASKS WHY JOHN IS MY FAVORITE CHARACTER, HERE IS THE REASON. I’VE BEEN LAUGHING FOR FIVE MINUTES.

I dream of a day in which Rose gets so angry and/or scared that she loses both sassiness and purple prose, also screaming in all caps. But that’s something I’m probably never gonna get. The thought makes me sad.

Rose being sassy even in this situation threw John off. I’m laughing.

Yeah, breakdown hit him hard.

……..John.

Rose, TREAD LIGHTLY. This will be hard to accept for him.

TREAD LIGHTLY, I SAID…. Wait, what. Since before…… I have seen screenshots from her computer! There wasn’t anything on the walls! Rose, this is not a joke and not funny at all!!! It’s messing up with his brain!

NOT FUNNY, ROSE. HE’S GOING TO SNAP!

JOHN, NO! BREATH, JOHN, BREATH. CALM DOWN, YOU’VE BEEN THROUGH WORSE THAN THIS! YOU CAN DO IT!

Rose, you’re the worst self-declared therapist ever!!!!

And while Rose deals with John’s strange way to cope with a mental breakdown… Well, not really “while”, years in the future. But not many.

WV just landed.

I had no idea that thing was so freaking big.

NO. FIGURE OUT SOMETHING ELSE. THE SASH IS IMPORTANT FOR HIM. You wanna take away mail from PM next?! You monster!

I KNOW, RIGHT??? I DON’T KNOW WHO WAS THE FOOL WHO SUGGESTED IT!

But the problem remains, WV! What are we going to do?!

Mmmmh. It could work out. You could have gone for an easier solution, though.

Hey! I’m never defending him ever again! How should I have known you couldn’t appearify such a big thing!

She’s not a dog, WV. Neither could she carry something that heavy, or anything, really.

WHO IS THE DUMB ONE NOW, HUH?!?! SAY IT!

Do you seriously think I’m going to fall for this one? That I’m going to suggest what you’re trying to make me suggest?? I may not be a genius but neither am I that dumb!

THE TIME, WV. You forgot to adjust the time. You aren’t in 2009.

…………………..if this wasn’t a coincidence, guys… If this was somehow planned, guys…….. I’m going to get so angry.

THERE IS. A NOTE. ON IT. WRITTEN. IN GREEN. FOR SOMEONE. IN GREEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADE!!!!!!!

IT WAS PLANNED!!!!!!!!!! JAAAAAAAAAAAAADE!!!!!!!!! HOW???????

……..

JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADE!!! Sorry, I felt like that was not enough.

ONLY BECAUSE IT’S GREEN!! UUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHH.

There are two letters??

What could Jade even want with WV??? But more importantly, HOW.

READ THE LETTER.

GODDAMMIT.

More years in the future?

NOOOOO, WV! WATCH OUT!!! SERENITY, DO SOMETHING!!!

Just…. Shoot the package!! Miss! Who is the shooter anyway?!

That’s… not a gun. Thank godness. 

And PM is also here! I guess they will all meet up, maybe exchange information?? Or just being in company, really.

Hello, AR! You don’t seem friendly.

HE ISN’T! IT WAS A GUN! FUCK. PM, GO AWAY!! DON’T LAND HERE! THIS IS SO BAD!

What the hell is he wearing anyway??

The changes of POV, goddammit.

Be sure you make stairs navigable this time.

John has stopped laughing like a maniac, nice.

The denial is strong in this one.

THIS IS A TRAVESTY, DON’T BOTHER SHOWING ME THOSE, I’M NOT EVEN LOOKING AT THEM.

I’m seeing things through John’s eyes?? It sure would have been nice if you let me know about it earlier! Will I always see only what the client player sees? Because I want to know if I have to look for scribbles of wizards and cats on Rose’s wall when Dave finally comes through and connects to her!

The same way you found time to write your FAQ while you almost caught fire.

There is a thing called subconscious, John. It doesn’t mean you have forgotten, it means you never even knew. And the shock of seeing your father’s room made them suddenly visible to your eyes. But Rose is probably going to get all psychological and tell you this directly.

Rose is not the only one who has trust issues, apparently. John, don’t be a butt, she’s only trying to help. She gets all weirdly concerned when her friends are particularly upset. She didn’t even tease Dave when he accidentally told her about his ridiculous nightmares. Well, she did, just a little. But asking Rose to resist the urge to tease completely, ESPECIALLY WITH DAVE, would be exceptionally cruel. She would spontaneously combust while trying to resist. We don’t want that. There is already too much fire around her.

EAGERLY WAITING FOR THE JOHN-DAD REUNION. They have have a lot of talking to do, many things to sort out, many “I’M SO PROUD OF YOU, SON” to say. Well, I’m not sure DAD can actually talk, but to be honest, I don’t care. As long as I’m sure they are fine and talked it out.

I don’t get what she’s implying.

These two make it REALLY HARD to hold up to my promise of not shipping thirteen years old kids.

When John was little, DAD brought him to a show of the Cirque du Soleil, but one of the harlequins went crazy and aggrieved John. Obviously DAD beat the clown up pretty hard. John never got over it. And this is also the story of how DAD got banned from their shows forever. Oh, a father would do anything for his son. Even be willing to forget the thing he loves the most.

ONLY BECAUSE HE THOUGHT YOU WERE INTO THEM. It’s a vicious circle…… Wait. Jokes aside, where do the clowns even COME FROM?? What is the source?? John and Rose are neglecting the most important question. DAD is not into clowns, he only pretended to because he thought his son was. John’s scribbles were done BEFORE even a measly little harlequin was brought into the house. So??? Why clowns? What is the thing he removed?? Something that messed him up pretty badly and that his dad knows nothing about.

Is she openly admitting her love for wizards?? Also, MOM is obviously genuine, I don’t think she knows what psychological warfare even means. But Rose just doesn’t understand.

And of course John tries to change the subject as soon as someone attempts to really make him think something through. OF COURSE. Whenever things start to get real he has to find a diversion, I don’t think he is even aware of it. The same way he refuses to aknowledge the fact that SBURB is not just a game. Unless reality slaps him hard in the face, I doubt he will grow out of this attitude anytime soon.