yet another homestuck liveblog.

3/4/2015 12:45:34 AM ¶ ●

Tales of Waking Up, Imaginary Towns and bringing speculation too far.

I… I got taken by the story… I liveblogged more than 100 pages… OH MY GOD. I thought GG was getting introduced soon… So I kept reading… and reading… I need a break.

ENJOY AT YOUR OWN RISK

I don’t get this trick. I re-read it three times. I don’t get it.

And so I have no idea what John is getting at. Unless it’s just punching more than one card at a time. WAIT. I think I got it? Does he want to combine items?

I think it’s the imps’ fault, actually.

The ugliest hammer I’ve ever seen. And please, don’t leave John alone with the alchemiter, pretty sure he will try to combine half of his house with the other half.

JOHN, YOU ARE FREAKING RIDICULOUS NO MATTER THE WEAPON.

He looks like someone just stole his favourite toy. He may have the pogo ride and the hammer but John has got them combined.

SOMEHOW SHE SOUNDS SO SURPRISED, I DON’T BLAME HER.

They still have the most beautiful interactions, sorry everyone else.

Why, John. You’re getting awfully defensive. Don’t want Rose to make her own researches, uh?

Didn’t Dave say something on those lines not that long ago?

HE LAND A HIT! AND HE DIDN’T FAINT! … FOR NOW.

These arms are getting more and more frequent! I think it’s safe to assume they’re coming through some sort of portal (look at the bluish aura, it’s always there). It seems they’re reaching out for something. So whoever is the owner, they’re using these portals to find that something? Have fun messing up with space and time until I find out who you are, buddy!

I think we lost John.

AND NOW I’M LYING ON THE COOL HARD GR—….BED. Rose, you just ruined my attempt at a joke.

I HAD FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE GIANT IMP

THERE IS ANOTHER (aka. John is so dead.)

…Is he getting sleepy? He spent almost more time passed out than he did awake.

Or at least he gets more experience so when he goes out cold he wakes up faster.

There are two giants incoming. NOT THE BEST TIME TO TAKE A NAP.

Rose, how can you say that so casually?! If Dave doesn’t come through, you’re DEAD.

And her first thought is to be useful to the team until the last moment. If she can’t survive this at least she can help her friends to do it. The girl is so mature for her age. Rose will be such an amazing character, she has SO MUCH POTENTIAL. I can’t wait to see her in action properly and face actual conflicts.

You could see her acceptance of a possible death as noble, but on the downside it implies she doesn’t value her safety THAT much. If there are things to get done, she will take her chances and do it without thinking too much about her own well-being.

Well, that’s my take on it.

I said the page with the introduction of The Medium made me sleepy. Well, it got the same soothing effect on John. Gold dreams, nerd.

WHAT A SMARTASS.

I said she accepted the prospect of death, BUT NOT THAT SHE WAS GOING DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT. Oooh, man. I love Rose. This is like the 37th time I said it. AND I WON’T STOP.

Dave, we don’t need your services anymore.

FFFFUUUUUUCK.
I should have imagined it.

ROSE GET OUTTA THERE

NOOOO NO NO NOOOO

John is in la la land and there are two giants approaching him.

NANNA, I TRUST YOU WITH JOHN’S WELL-BEING.

WAIT. Why am I worrying about John?!? If Rose doesn’t find another source of power she’s as good as dead! WHAT CAN SHE DO NOW??!????

We get a glimpse of John’s sweet naive dreams. Dad is first and foremost, obviously, then cakes, harlequins, something I don’t recognize, whatever he has printed on his t-shirt, SOMEONE I DON’T RECOGNIZE (a kid, given the height? GG?), a pumpkin? Is this the point where the Jailbreak’s references start kicking in?

HEY, HOW’S IT GOING, GG?? YOU GONNA SPOIL JOHN’S FUTURE TO US?

Actually… I’ve got some bad news for you… Nevermind. I will let you find out on your own.

Small steps for a big objective, John. Don’t be impatient. First you learn how to slay one imp without losing consciousness, then we will move onto saving the world.

Do you THINK or do you KNOW

I’VE NEVER SEEN SOMEONE AS BAD AS GG AT HIDING A SECRET POWER

Of course John isn’t suspicious. Of course.

…he’s even helping her find an excuse.

Did you know that when John watched the little riding hood for the first time he got blown away by the revelation that grandma was the wolf all along? Yes, even thought they showed it beforehand. Kid didn’t suspect a thing. What do you mean this is not a canon fact? It is 100% confirmED— GOD HOW CAN SOMEONE SO HELPLESSLY NAIVE EVEN EXIST

I’M IMAGINING GG FREAKING OUT AND SWEATING BULLETS AS SHE TYPES THIS. IT’S AN HILARIOUS VISION.

IS SHE EVEN TRYING TO KEEP IT A SECRET? I don’t think so. At least not with John? She is even more prone to divulging information with him than she was with Dave. Or Rose? But I don’t remember their conversation that well.

She’s not even good at subtly changing subject. In fact I think she’s even worse at this.

NO JOHN WHY ARE YOU DROPPING THE SUBJECT SO EASILY

That happens to everyone but I don’t understand how that is related to that meteor?

I get that a nap can clear your thoughts but from that to “i know everything” I THINK THAT’S A BIT EXCESSIVE MISSY

Unless you see the future while napping, not when you’re awake. And now know everything. Remember that you should take everything you see with a grain of salt. It could be that something you ate sat on your stomach and you are just having a nasty nightmare.

…But he awoke a little ago? He is talking to you? Are you okay, GG? If you’re talking about sleepwalking I think you should know that that still qualifies as being asleep.

Unless…. John is… really dreaming? No wait, this is making my head hurt.

Aww, she sounds so eager to share what she knows with you, John. I almost feel bad for her. HURRY UP AND WAKE UP, STUPID!

Whatever she means by that. I think waking up is the wrong expression? And she was searching for another one but couldn’t find it?

So John has to do something in order to give GG the possibility to talk about what she knows. And the way she phrased it also kind of implies she has already done that something. So, John, get on GG’s level!

“kinda literally”… Mmmhh
Does that mean John is partially asleep? Or only awake on some level?

ALSO there is the possibility John is still sleeping and just dreaming of talking to GG. WHY DID I NOT THINK ABOUT THIS BEFORE SEARCHING ON GOOGLE FOR ALL THE POSSIBLE HIDDEN MEANINGS OF THE EXPRESSION “WAKING UP”??!?

DON’T YOU LOL AT US, YOU FREAKY PSYCHIC.

THIS IS NOT EVEN RELATED TO BEING A PSYCHIC BECAUSE SHE WOULD KNOW WHAT HAPPENS BUT NOT WHEN. DOES SHE HAVE A VIDEO FEED OF EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS AT THE EGBERTS HOUSE?? If so, can you tell us where the imps brought DAD?

PLOT TWIST: The webcams in Dave’s house weren’t of BRO, it’s just GG surveying the situation.

I hate this because I’m too busy being surprised at her knowledge to actually get to know her as a person. Like I’m too busy worrying about Dave’s situation and I forget to observe how he acts with unrelated things. IT’S MAKING ME UPSET. I don’t know them nearly as well as I know John and Rose. Heck, I haven’t even seen GG!

AND SHE CALLS TWO ENORMOUS GIANTS COMPANY.

I think the only conversation that didn’t end with an heart from GG ’s part was the one with Rose. I’m solely disappointed.

WHAT.

Nah, that’s nothing, John. Just the one who is gonna cause your death.

He is BIG, and he has the Colonel’s wisdom on his side.

HE HIDE WITH THE IMP. When times get though, the line between enemies and allies gets thinner and thinner. And yes, I’m making up all those sayings as I go, if you were wondering.

Since after John “woke up” all of his pesterlogs have no hour….

GODDAMMIT, GG! Stop making everything so confusing! Is John indeed still sleeping??

When times get tougher, imps go scarce and protagonists pass out.

I DON’T THINK YOU ARE READY
You were not even ready for the tutorial.

JOHN I DOUBT A PAIR OF HANDCUFFS OR A “CLEVER” DISGUISE MIGHT ACTUALLY HELP YOU JUST GET READY TO FACE THE MUSIC

HE HAS FIVE MINUTES OF LIFE LEFT AT BEST

Maybe, but I would avoid stairs.

Oooh, man. Ooooooh, boy. What if he falls from here??!

STOP PRACTICING WITH THAT ABOMINATION

JOOOOHNNN

TURN AROUND
TURN THE FUCK AROUND RIGHT NOW

WHAT DO YOU CARE— THERE IS OIL LITERALLY EVERYWHERE— TURN AROUND

NANNAAAA HELP HE HAS NO HOPE TO SURVIVE STOP BAKING AND KILL THEM WITH THOSE WEIRD LASER POWERS

I hate Andrew Hussie.

I suggest you don’t do that. John just did and he is going to get beaten up pretty hard. The parallels are not stopping.

There are determined eyes under those glasses, I just know it.

He took— HE IS TOO FAST

Flash stepping runs in the family, apparently.

-Shitty sword CHECK
-Creepy puppet CHECK
-An ass ready to get kicked CHECK

WE’RE READY TO GO

…I’m very weary of stairs.

This may have been a dramatic scene if we could actually see his ey—

EEAAAAAH NOT THOSE EYES

What’s up with Dave and lava…? And why is he all red?

SHIIIIIIIIIIIIT. WE NEED TO GET GG TO CONNECT ASAP. Is this really the time for a strife on the roof of all places? Does BRO not notice the meteors?

Too busy flash stepping with Cal?

What OH MY GOD SHE’S SO CUTEEEEE

WHAT ARE THOSE FLOWERS EVEN

WHAT NO

FUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUU

….WV, I despise you.

…

I have been staring at the screen for a good minute, glaring at him without uttering a world. Trying to convey my utmost annoyance.

I WAS SO CLOOOSEEEEE
SO CLOOSEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I COULD ALREADY FEEL THE MISSING ARMS JOKE IN THE AIR WHYYYYYY

Sigh. Let’s see what Mr. Good Manners is up to.

…I didn’t want to see this from you… I WANT GG’S INTRODUCTION

Welp.

What’s that? A cool tattoo? I can’t see it very well.

That was ROTTEN, WV. You’re gonna get sick. Plus, that really doesn’t count as a Jailbreak reference, he just ate it, it didn’t disappear, I feel cheated.

Since the kids’ session started maybe?

You know, the Silladex and it’s respective Modi are not a game mechanic. They’re commonly used by people in this universe. Like… You can choose to use one and deliberately make your life a living hell. Neat.

WV confirmed for not being an imp. Imps’ teeth are very sharp.

…Carapace? Like a shell?

There is no way you will convince me that a sylladex is actually useful, sorry.

Let’s do that.

A barcode on a person? He’s not merchandise to be sold.

OH, COME ON.

You and John related?

But honestly, I’ve got no idea either.

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY WV is on post-apocalyptic Earth. Unless you can receive mail in The Medium.

HAHA! Well, it was already obvious. But I thought he was part of the game? And now he doesn’t even know what an imp is, neither did he seem familiar with Sburb at all…

If it takes your mind off the hunger…

And also very, very humble. All this emphasis on equality and being fair… And that barcode… Where did he live before? From where is he escaping? Anarchy? A tyrant?

A TYRANT. I GET IT. I GET IT. LOUD AND CLEAR.

Is that a firefly caught in amber? There is a green stone… a pack of crayons?

I wouldn’t touch that. It’s fluorescent green. Could be radioactive.

What? What did he do? …HE ATE IT?

Uranium? Aww, that’s a shame. In a nuclear reactor you could use it as fuel. A nuclear reactor like the one that just happens to be behind you, WV.

DON’T YOU EAT THAT

Hey, they are Non-Toxic. Oh, well, feel free to have a snack then. I doubt you will digest the uranium tho.

STOP EATING GREEN THINGS

I suggest smashing the keyboard Egbert-Style. It worked for him.

I’ve had enough of oil in this webcomic.

It’s a FIREFLY in AMBER.

AWW. That thing just blinded me but AWW.

I COULD BE MEETING GG RIGHT NOW. I COULD KNOW HER NAME. COULD KNOW FROM WHERE SHE GETS THOSE DUMB POWERS OF HERS.

BECAUSE YOU ARE CURRENTLY DIGESTING IT, DUMBASS!

That looks more like a chessboard but whatever.

I thought people stopped sending suggestions after ACT 1. Hussie, what are you doing.

WHAT A MESS

HE USED THE RED CHALK TO WRITE THE R.

At home? What is he even saying? Can Town is already their home. HE JUST CREATED THE CITIZENS. Maybe he is the one who wants to feel at home? Aww. Nope. I’m not getting emotional. I forbid myself from getting emotional.

Okay, so the scenery obviously isn’t just a thing that WV made up.

FOUR PLANETS. THE KIDS’ PLANETS. The black and red one is obviously Dave’s. As for the others… Maybe the really colorful one is GG’S? I dunno. There is one that is just a blot of oil, what the heck. AND THERE IS A FREAKING HUGE VOLCANO ON ANOTHER.

Hey, it’s our John. We already got past this point though.

Light Kingdom and Dark Kingdom?? They are golden and purple so it’s pretty much confirmed.
And they have moons.

PARTICULARLY I’M INTERESTED IN THE FOURTH ONE.

AUUGHH.

…I can’t believe this.

TAB. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!? Open them. Bask in them. Take a bath in Tab.

PARTY HARD!!! He deserves it. *wipes a tear*

…A product of The Coca-Cola Company? Can he even mention the brand?

Wizards? He doesn’t know much of the human word.

He has the mentality of a 5 y/o child. It’s beautiful.

…THE GREEN TEXT WAS ATTRACTIVE. I’m going to cry. I wonder if he attempted to lick the screen while we were talking to GG?

YOU JUST CREATED A CITY OUT OF CANS AND CONSUMED HALF OF YOUR CHALK ON THE WALLS. HOW IS THAT FOR WASTE OF TIME?!?

WHOA. YOU’RE RIGHT. Who set this up? And conveniently left those objects? Like the uranium? They rebooted before going away.

GO FOR SWITCH FOUR.

IT’S ZAZZERPAN. Pffttt. It’s just a twenty feet statue. They’re not pleading… for… That gaze is awfully realistic and kind of creepy… Nope. There is already Cal for that. I’m getting that out of my head. Moving on.

Wait… Was it missing an hand before?

What the fuck. HE PROTOTYPED THE DEAD BIRD. What happened to Cal? GOD BLESS WHOEVER DID THAT. Did Dave finally snap? But it still looks kind of ominous standing there under the sprite. I think Dave is gonna prototype it anyway. But that’s not how you do it! First the non-sentient element, then the sentient one! At least the enemies are gonna look like birds. Clown birds? Does John’s choice of prototyping influence Dave too? WAIT, FUCK. THE ONE WHO WILL FOLLOW DAVE AROUND EVERYWHERE IS CAL. Like NANNA for John. Oh, dear. That’s even creepier.

…………….no………….

FUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUU

FUCK YOUUUUU
FUCK YOUUUUUUUUU
FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

04:13
Well. Just get out of there. In case everything is going to explode or something.

Wait. Actually the home command has been used before and everything is still intact. Sooo, no exploding. It has another function. But we will only find out in four hours. And this webcomic is so slow, I will probably get to know in like… ACT 6.

Or you could just do that. Sometimes I feel so dumb.

Oh.

I WOULD FIND A WAY OUT.

He would be a better major than many human ones. He’s really dedicated.

CHESSBOARD CHESSBOARD CHESSBOARD I TOLD YOU.

THE IMPLICATIONS, SO MANY OF THEM.

I think it’s pretty safe to assume that since he’s not an imp, not an human and not an alien, he’s simply a soldier. A soldier of the Chess Army. He fought the war of The Good against The Evil. And supposedly won it. NANNA said so. He was in the Incisphere. It has been years since then so he has forgotten a bit about it? On the dark side, because… well, duh… He’s black and he mentioned being under a tyrant. I have trouble imagining a tyrant being the king/queen of the Light Kingdom. And he escaped?? But how did he end up on Earth? Assuming this is the Earth. If it was that would mean the kids will be able to return on their planet once they win the game.

OH MY FUCKING GOD. OH MY FUCKING— GODDAMMIT, WV. GET A GRIP OF YOURSELF.

Did the black win?? So why is he angry?

NOW you think about that. You’re a disgrace, WV.

…But not many?

What if something bad actually happens? I’m not ready.

Ehhh…?!?

I JUST MADE THE THE MOST RIDICULOUSLY HIGH-PITCHED SOUND YOU HAVE NO IDEA

Greetings, Mister! And who would you be? A member of the noble White Army?

With a cargo plenty of… mail boxes…? Okaaay?

And don’t think I missed that twinkle behind you! …Unless it’s the sun. Yeah, it’s obviously the sun WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS WEBCOMIC DOING TO ME? I JUST MISTOOK THE FREAKING SUN FOR A PLOT RELEVANT OBJECT.

…….

I’m taking the speculation a bit too far.