Hanging just next— OH, DEAR. Here we fucking go again. I cannot bring myself to read this.

Ummmmmmmhhhh…

Umhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….

Oh, uh. Sorry, just thinking about something.

Last time one of the kids brought out irony and liking things IRONICALLY, it was TG and it was pretty fucking obvious that he did genuinely like them. A LOT.

Irony was a front. Why would you need to hide your interests and passions behind irony though??

BUT WAIT, I’m going to try and figure that out when I meet the other dork properly.

Now, I was just going to point out that what I said in the last post about how irony was unlikely involved, making a wild guess, could actually have some truth in it.

Aaand another little thing I noticed. John’s DAD collects harlequins and the kid doesn’t think much about it. He just says his father is a weird dude with a weird taste. Rose’s MOM stores wizard related stuff in the house and Rose thinks she does only in order to irritate her because her mom knows she DETESTS them.

Now, that’s a pretty different situation.

BUT HONESTLY, who doesn’t like wizards. Unless you are the Dursley family and your nephew’s name is Harry Potter. 

WAIT, I GOT IT!!!! This is like Harry Potter’s situation, only in reverse. Her mom FREAKING LOVES WIZARDS. She tried to enroll in Hogwarts but failed. Now, she has this daughter and she shows interest in all this abnormal and magical things and she thinks: “This is it. Maybe I couldn’t be a wizard but my daughter will. I’M SO PROUD OF HER—” No, wait that sounds like John’s DAD.

And the letter comes. For so many years Rose’s mom has done nothing but talk about wizards and the like and Rose has come to DESPISE it. She just wants a normal mom and be a normal girl so when the letter shows up she is all like:

“THIS IS NOT MY DREAM, THIS IS YOUR DREAM, MOTHER.”

And this is the story of how Rose DID NOT go to Hogwarts and her mother consequently got depressed, and now she drinks gin to drown her sorrows and makes fun of her daughter using passive aggressive behavior. 

I’ve figured it out!!!! Give me a fucking medal, I’m way better than all the Homestuck theorists out there!