G-gin and derision?!?? 

I hope she’s blowing this out of proportion. Of course she is. There is no way her mother habitually sips gin and makes fun of her or something, RIGHT?!

Please, I cannot stand this. Let TT have a normal family. John’s relationship with his father already irks me and it’s not even that bad. They just have some communication issues. As in, John has to build up the courage to tell his father he doesn’t have to enjoy everything DAD enjoys and they should talk a lot more, not avoid each other, etc…

NO, JOHN. YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND. IF THIS TURNED OUT TO BE TRUE THAT WOULDN’T BE NEARLY PARAGONABILE TO YOUR SITUATION. FOR GOD’S SAKE, JOHN, YOUR DAD LEAVES YOU MESSAGES TELLING YOU HOW HE IS SO PROUD OF YOU! YOU JUST DON’T LIKE CLOWNS! PLUS, YOU’RE NOT EVEN TRYING WITH HIM, YOU TRY TO AVOID THE POOR MAN.

I need to calm down.

I can’t believe he had to stand on top of that thing to hit the platform.

But if he cannot even raise that hammer in the air how will he be able to efficiently use it as a weapon in the future?! Cool birthday present or not, I blame you, TG. I’m angry at you again.

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING.

Alright, Ominous countdown is ominous but have you guys failed to notice that fluctuating ball of doom?! 

……..If the walkthroughs are all cut short at this point, wouldn’t it be safe to assume something horrendous as happened?! Or even better, that since there is a countdown going on, they have a better time management skills than you guys, and are actively trying to stop it?! To the hell with that walkthrough?

The shards of glasses make theit glorious return! And I had completely forgotten about them! Shame on me!

I didn’t know it was even possible but that doll is now 200% creepier.

Suddenly I understand everything, thank you, fluctuating ball of doom. Oh, where would we be without your valuable assistance?!

Way to put all the weight on TT’s shoulders now! Wait, WHO CARES ABOUT THE BATHROOM??????
John, in moment like these, I really kind of despise you. 

Time management skills: 2/10
Priorities set straight: -4/10