Your name is JOHN. As was previously mentioned it is your BIRTHDAY. A number of CAKES are scattered about your room. You have a variety of INTERESTS. You have a passion for REALLY TERRIBLE MOVIES. You like to program computers but you are NOT VERY GOOD AT IT. You have a fondness for PARANORMAL LORE, and are an aspiring AMATEUR MAGICIAN. You also like to play GAMES sometimes.
What will you do?

Which summed up would be:

Your name is JOHN and you are a big nerd. Alright, jokes aside. Well, admitting they are terrible is already something. Oh God, I spot Con Air (hey, Nicolas Cage. Every movie with Nicolas Cage in it is cool) and Ghostbusters??! What’s wrong with Ghostbusters? I don’t understand. What’s the other one? I’ve not watched Con Air in years.

But PARANORMAL LORE? i totally approve, kid.

Several cakes? Isn’t one enough? Plus, it’s your birthday, John. You’re supposed to be throwing a party, not standing in your room all alone doing nothing.