See Jade, this is what happens when you don’t motivate people properly! And also what happens when you are evil. And also what happens if you bring up an alternative version of someone and them blame the original version for what their alt did.
Seriously, Jade, you are fucking up everywhere here.
Noooooooooooo!
How could you, Jade? The mayor never did anything to you!
Oh thank god.
I mean, that the mayor is safe. Now I am concerned for Dave’s mental health. But I guess that’s no surprise, really. Lotsa strain on their sanity going on lately.
Dave’s not the only one whose sanity I now question.
But Kanaya’s way more awesome about it. Kanaya is way more awesome about everything.
“DO YOUR HUMAN WORST!”
I love how the trolls preface really random things with “human.” Jane just killed Karkat and brought him back to life, but Kanaya is still going to imply that her worst is somehow tied to her humanity.
Haha!
Kanaya, if anybody cares that you killed Eridan with a chainsaw, they’re just glad you did.
God, this narration sounds like my mom.
And I was really excited to be able to catch up with Rose and Terezi. And possibly violence against Gamzee’s person. That would be great.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
John is changing things! We were just here, and this is definitely not how it went.
HAHAHA
To both the “screw the pooch” idiom and the time travel joke.
I love that Homestuck’s time travel–or the time travel that John isn’t doing–is so solid that this can make sense. What Dave and Aradia do is one thing, what John does is another, even though they’re all time travel.
*patiently waits for BKEW to be around to link me to the deobfuscation of the Dirk/Dave conversation* It’s cool, it’s a weekday, I know you’re a busy guy!
Yay the mayor is saved, and that tedious conversation about evil Rose’s evil heartbreak maybe never happened kind of! Er, did it happen? Do we have a branching timeline now, like if John isn’t causing doomed timelines, can he break the alpha timeline into two…equally alpha timelines? One where the mayor was thrown off the ledge and one where he wasn’t, but neither doomed? Or does this supplant the previous events? I have shit to do but I want to know more!
NONE OF THOSE WERE REAL QUESTIONS BTW DO NOT TELL ME PLZ THNX
I think this is the second time we’ve been punished with romance explanations. Didn’t we get a similar thing with the trolls quadrants?
Someone’s written meta about how the images break out of the panels around when the rules of the story’s universe start to break down, right? Because it’s cool, and I know there are smart people in this fandom.
Shush Rose, soliloquies are awesome. You should give more of them.
Gosh, all this apathy. She has a point that the quest was designed to be beaten three years before, though. So it should be a breeze now that she’s a mighty god tier! And all that grist she could get! If grist even matters anymore.
Oh my god. Terezi is so fucking cool.
What the hell indeed!
Now there are two rule violating Johns flying around. Talking to each other. Breaking rules. One of them even has eyebrows!
Ahhahahahahahahaha!
I really needed two Johns making out in my life.
!!!!!
Future John brings a message to present John! A message that makes very little sense.
God, she is fucking scary. Everything about her is terrifying.
NO LEG COVERINGS FOR JAKE. ONLY GLORIFIED PANTIES.
I thought for a second that Jake was taunting her, like everyone else. But no, he is just being a cowardly wusslet. With an impressive vocabulary.
WHERE THE FUCK DID DIRK COME FROM?!
See, evil Jade seems totally fake, like she’s just play acting. But evil Jane totally seems like regular Jane who has just had it with everything and flipped over to the dark side. I could never in a million year see Jade doing what she’s doing on her own…but I can kind of see Jane doing all this under the right circumstances (that don’t have to involve mind control).
Oh, okay, it’s just him…hallucinating? I mean, he doesn’t appear to be dreaming.
…Could his hope powers make dream Dirk real? That just sounds weird. He can’t believe something into being!
HAHAHAHA
Is dream Dirk coming on to Jake this whole time? Just cuddled close and caressing his legs?
I guess just because real Dirk broke up with Jake doesn’t mean dream Dirk has to!
Ewwww, Jane is joking about feeding Jake to Jade! Jeez, just because she’s all wolfy doesn’t mean she would eat human flesh. Especially like…her grandfather’s/ecto-father’s flesh.
John’s powers are totally awesome. I totally want to see all of the aspects display their awesome god tier powers like this.
Oh, Roxy, I love you ever so much. You are a silly, pink girl and you are the best.
Roxy, he doesn’t get your inside joke typos! He didn’t know you pre-sobriety, duh!
I will never stop loving wonk though.
God tier therapy. That’s totally what he’s trying to do. Channel Rose harder, John!
It was a fine pun until John decided to explain it! God, John.
There’s barely any space inside that fort for her!
She liiiiiiiiiikes him!
We did get some foreshadowing that those two could be in a relationship later, too, with the whole ring thing. They were apparently different rings but, y'know, whatever.
HAHAHAHA
Go to the next page and her interest is completely confirmed.
*cries*
I want to see them meet so bad. Them and Dirk and Dave. But I am sure it will really hurt. Their relationships are so full of tension…except they don’t really have relationships with each other, just with alternate universe versions of each other. It’s kind of like when you become an adult, and you can never really deal with the issues you had with your parents when you were a child, because they’re different people by the time you’re grown up. Except they’re really different people in this case.
I’m so excited to see that pan out.
FUCKING.
FINALLY.
I knew that’s what would happen.
Fresca. Oh my god.
I am making a shit list, John, and I am putting your name at the very top.
Awww yeah! You go, Roxy! You’re like halfway there now!
Man, it’s gonna be dangerous when she gets this down. If she can just take the nothingness out of everything. “Want a soda? Here is a Pepsi with no nothing in it."
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
God Caliborn, fuck off.
HAHAHAHAHA
He does have little regard for our valuable time. Fortunately, he made an awesome thing, so I am happy giving my time to it.
See, Dave? This is why you need to kill Lord English. Because he’s an asshole.
!!!!!!
How can John show up in Caliborn’s shitty story?
HAHAHAHAHA.
Dude, you’re the heir of breath. Just whooooosh. Whoosh up the stairs and through the…that’s supposed to be a door?
HAHAHA. Roxy just fell apart! I guess that’s what happens when you’re a stick figure.
I was expecting a sword. But nope, it’s “porn."
HAHAHAHAHAHA
And John is in the back just crying. That’s perf.
Gamzee is sleeping in a refrigerator? That’s…weird.
GOD DAMN IT GAMZEE.
GOD.
DAMN.
IT.
VRISKA!!!!!!!!
…
Aranea?