June 2014

!!!!!!

Aranea is leading Jake to the same place she led Terezi! (Or is leading, or will lead, who knows how time is working here.)

I need that song so bad, guys.

Sooooooo, apparently an unprototyped ring doesn’t change you. Either that, or DD managed to resist being changed, somehow. 

And it looks like it has a bit less power. But I guess the Red Miles thing is a power inherent to the ring…Interesting that it has powers without prototyping at all, I thought unprototyped Derse and Prospit were supposed to be locked in a complete stalemate.

Okay, the fact that there are all these Crocker products that have stuff specific to the game makes me think that the Condesce wanted the game to get played. And maybe knew who would play it…or at least probably knew that Jane would, since she would likely know that Jane arrived on a meteor. 

Ooooh, and there’s my confirmation. 

Yeah, we’ve pretty much got confirmation that GCat is on the Condesce’s side. Giving a bad name to cats everywhere.

He’s totally going to be dead, isn’t he? 

Or she’ll see him right as he dies. 

Y'know, I’d really suspected that they were two aspects of the same person, or one person with two personalities or two souls. It would explain how uu could fuck up UU’s shit without them having ever met, if only one of them has the body at a time, or something. Not to mention the Complacency of the Learned parallels and the main character being neither male nor female, or being both.

But I don’t see that working with them having two different blood colors. So now stuff is confusing again, and I have no decent theory.

Oh god please tell me she’s not sending her version of Lil Cal.

Or maybe Lil Cal isn’t evil and her brother was lying or manipulating the truth, but I’m inclined to believe him because Lil Cal is creepy as all get out.

Also it seems that there may be some partner to Lil Cal, if the juju description means UU’s thing is related to Cal somehow. I can’t think of what it might be, but I’m guessing I’ve seen it before.

*shiver*

I wonder if it’s the whole uu being like Jigsaw from the Saw movies, or if it’s a Romance-type thing, where beauty is also terrible and there is terror in beauty. Possibly both, who the fuck knows with this thing.

This post is entirely to show my appreciation for the line “It seems you may have just called me a fish.”

…This is the kind of post you guys said you wanted, right? The other day? Haha, auto responder, you so funny.

Oh my god, dude, we get it, you’re Jigsaw. God, have you ever heard of subtlety?

I love how Dirk is totally ready to just draw whatever uu wants. And uu is so desperate for him to put up a fight.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Apparently today also gets a “Things that made me laugh like a maniac at 1AM” post. 

WHELP.

I really wonder what troll verse they’re from. They say they’re doing a two-person session which implies either a completely separate verse, or them being able to create a session from the same universe and the same planet, but without joining any of the other players. Both seem kind of unlikely to me. 

Serket is Vriska’s last name! Which makes sense and all since they’re kinda related in a way, but still. 

Look at everyone who’s there! Karkat, Aradia, Dave, Rose, and of course we already knew about Roxy and Terezi being there. Awesome! Characters I care about!

Oh thank god, I like getting the information but man, I am kind of sick of Aranea’s long exposition vomit.

Ah, Meenah, your bold and decisive storytelling appeals to me ever so much. 

She entered the new game session? Has she done it yet, or is she about to? Shiiiit.

AWWWW!

I mean, she’s being so happy because other universe her is a successful genocidal maniac, but her face is so cute.

Jake. Jake no. Stop. Think before you act, good god, man! Trolls are violent and strong!

Oh god that’s a terrible idea. 

I love Aranea freaking out, and mind fragment Dave just standing there.

“You didn’t see nothin’.” “Yes, that is true.”

HAHAHA.

Oh no, the numbers are back! The numbers! That thing isn’t supposed to reset like that, it’s supposed to take for ever!

Jack is doing that at someone’s behest? The plot thickens!

So, I figure that even as a guardian and not a player, mom probably had a relationship of some sort to the void, like Roxy does as a player, and this explains a hell of a lot why mom was drinking all the time, which makes me dislike her a bit less.

PS. this is another reason I love Roxy. Tryin’ to save people, like a champ!

All of the instances are held in the same genesis frog, huh? Interesting! So the alpha kids’ instance is going to last juuuuust long enough to let them get into the medium, looks like. 

And the Condesce is making sure of that, pushing the kids to get out ASAP. Seems like her interests might be sliiiiiightly more in their favor.

Jane’s complete and total faith in her father is really touching. I’m glad at least one of the kids grew up with a proper parent. 

A bunch of deadly red shit! Within a .001% margin of error!

Jane. Jane, no. Stop. Stop right now. That is a terrible idea, what is wrong with you? Listen to the goddamned glasses!

Jane, what the fuck. You make terrible decisions. Do not just use some random transportalizer to go to some random location. Goddamn you, Jane.

…Did she just transport to Derse? Which is ALSO currently being destroyed?

Dammit, Jane, you were safe before!

JAKE IS ALSO ON DERSE?!?!

Oh em gee, it’s the window/fenestrated wall that was stolen, isn’t it? AWESOME. 

I’m imagining Auto Responder saying that very affectionately, since he has some sort of AI-crush on Jake. 

GODDAMNIT JAKE AND JANE YOU BOTH SUCK STOP IT RIGHT NOW OH MY GOD

I like that disassembled metaphor, right there.

For some reason seeing Roxy putting out her pink stuffed cats and wizards is completely heartbreaking for me. 

Also, lol, UU is probably watching and being ever so grossed out.

Damnit, I was really hoping this rule breaking would get us useful/interesting information now. I’m sure it will be useful later but for now /snore

Oooooooooooh.

Okay, I guess that information is useful and interesting now.

uu killed Calliope’s dreamself, or I would count this as more evidence that they’re the same person. It would make a bit of sense, if they were swapping between awake and dreamself, but they can’t if one dreamself is dead, right?

WHAT THE.

I just. But. What.

!!!!!!!

Okay, I double checked and “english” means side-spin, but I couldn’t find anything meaning top spin, other than like…topspin and top and follow. There’s no Lord Follow, as far as I know. HOWEVER with all the billiards imagery, I know this is important.

WHAT.

Cherub like, baby angel, or cherub like, four-faced winged bullmonster?

Oh my god, Calliope is making me so sad right now. That poor, poor baby. She wants so hard to help people and to do the right thing, but her brother is pretty much the polar opposite, and now her facade is completely crumbling. She’s not a troll, she doesn’t know everything she thought she did, and now she’s realizing she’ll probably die.

Also I just realized she referenced being kissed to be resurrected, but that would only work if her dreamself was still alive. So I guess she doesn’t know? Poor baby.

Master classes! I hadn’t even considered that that could be a thing. God, now I have to keep reading in hopes of finding out what that means…

Also, boo, it would take you two seconds to reveal the name of your brother’s class. But nooo, Calliope has shit to do. Unfair.

Oh my god, watching her remove the trappings of her trolldom is just completely heartbreaking. She wanted so badly to be a troll she even wore grey gloves. 

Also totally curious if this is a meta commentary on people being sooo obsessed with Homestuck!trolls and wishing they were trolls themselves. Since Calliope is supposedly an allegory for the fans.

WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT IS SHE. SHE’S TERRIFYING. OH MY GOD. 

Also I see she has a shackle with uu’s symbol on it. Just like we saw for the Complacency of the Learned person. 

Also wtf is with the raw steaks on the floor? Scattered among candy? I see a busted chessboard. I’m going to warrant a guess that her brother is on the other side of the room, on the other side of that chain, and that’s the chessboard they were playing on.

!!!!!!!

I went to go look up Calmasis’s name, since I remembered it began with “Cal” so I thought maybe it was a smush of Calliope’s and her brother’s names, and then I stumble on this.

I’d been operating on the assumption that Calmasis was either Calliope or Calliope and uu, but now it really looks like Calliope is Zazzerpan, who certainly appears to be both learned and complacent, and Calmasis is uu. Calliope had never lost a match to uu, but by some kind of ~enchantment~ (which turns out to be pestering and deception) uu managed to win even after a checkmate. It also makes sense that Calmasis=uu, since uu could make sense as an anti-hero and certainly as an antagonist.