May 2014

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So, like, I started reading Homestuck on the advice of a friend, and was actually pretty annoyed that I liked it. Because it’s really long and that’s annoying. And then I reached the beginning of act 4 but I was so bored by the previous stuff that I quit.

Now I have been convinced to try again, and liveblog it, so here goes.

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It turns out I am extremely bad at the flash game at the beginning of act 4. I got lost, turned around, and wound up back at the beginning. 

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So like, is 8 supposed to be that sexy?

Because man. That body. That hat. That whip. Unf.

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Reflecting on stuff I read before:

Is it weird that I really want to know more about Rose’s mom? Is Rose right about her mom being a jerk, or is she being a typical brat who assumes their parents don’t actually love them? I hope it’s the latter, personally. Maybe her mom just has no idea how to connect with her daughter, which would be adorable. Or maybe she really is passive aggressive and wants to always outdo her daughter. That would not be adorable. 

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“CG: THIS HAS BEEN EXPLAINED TO YOU SO OFTEN IT WOULD MAKE ME SICK TO MY HUMAN STOMACH IF I HAD ONE OF YOUR HUMAN STOMACHS.”

Whoever this troll is, I find him utterly adorable.

CG: FINE YOU CAN THINK I’M A FUCKING DOUCHE AND MAYBE I AM BUT HERE’S THE FACT, IDIOT.
CG: I’VE ALREADY HAD LOTS OF CONVERSATIONS WITH YOU.
CG: IN THE FUTURE. I MEAN YOUR FUTURE.
CG: I’VE KIND OF BEEN WORKING BACKWARDS HERE FOR A WHILE.
CG: AND IT’S A LITTLE FRUSTRATING.
CG: EVERY TIME I GO FURTHER BACK YOU KNOW LESS AND LESS, AND YOU DON’T REMEMBER ANYTHING I SAID BECAUSE IT HASN’T HAPPENED YET.
CG: AND I HAVE TO REPEAT MYSELF A LOT.
CG: AND I’M GETTING PRETTY FUCKING SICK OF IT.

Seriously I love this entire pesterlog, I am having to keep myself from just quoting the whole thing here, because his rage over the fact that John can’t remember things that haven’t happened yet is too cute. Poor guy just can’t get how linear time works.

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Oh god the puppet butts are back, why did they have to come back? I am okay with none of this. Yuck!

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Wait just one cotton picking minute. I was playing that game a little bit ago, and now post apocalyptic shroud post lady is? I sense something is going on here!

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“A mother will do whatever is best for her children”

I’m guessing this means my assumptions about Rose’s mom actually loving her, but maybe not expressing it in the best way, was right. Or something like that. 

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I’m a little disappointed I got ambiently spoiled about who this guy is. I guess my new friends were right when they told me to avoid Homestuck spoilers at all costs, but it was a bit hard considering everyone is obsessed with him and it took me a while to put Homestuck on the blacklist.

Not that I know much about him, aside from the fact that some fictionkin think they are him. 

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That’s my reaction to alcohol, too. Except I’m 26.

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“Fourth Exile: Suddenly appear.”

AW YEAH I WAS RIGHT.

My memory does work sometimes!

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Hey, uhh, so apparently nobody asked you anything yet? umm this is weird, usually there's like 10-15 people all over every new liveblogger (apparently bladekindeyewear is following you? That's always a good sign). Ok. I... uhhh... Good luck! That's really all I can say. Oh, and that it only gets better from here on out, but I'm sure you knew that already!

I got one other ask that I haven’t answered yet. Also, I have a guard to make sure that no spoilers sneak through, and I don’t know if she’s been deleting asks to protect me, the sweetheart. Can’t say why I haven’t gotten any asks, but thank you for yours~

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That's probably the single most popular troll. Almost everybody loves him.

I like him so far! I can see why he’s popular. But I’m liking the other trolls I’ve met so far, too. 

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Rose fights with knitting needles and yarn! Rose is officially my favorite. 

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I adore GallowsCalibrator but the way she types 4 for a always confuses me because I read it as for or four. Type like a normal person, dammit!

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The shit? I think I missed something important here. What is going on?!

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God, guys, I feel so dumb for not realizing that the trolls might be fucking with John and trying to get him screwed over or killed. I mean, they're trolls. It’s right there in the name. I hope I’m not this optimistic and trusting in real life or I’m in for a world of hurt. Also, wtf John, why were you so trusting? I hope that doesn’t get you hurt later on. Like of course you’re not supposed to just jump way ahead and kill some big monster in its sleep. 

And apparently now Dave can time travel? And has arms and is tall? I’m actually more concerned with the tall thing than the time travel. 

I’m concerned for alternative timeline Rose. I hope she’s not stuck out there in some hellscape. I can’t even deal with the alternate timeline stuff right now, too much is going on. Damn. 

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Holy shit, future Dave just joined present Dave’s sprite thing. That is awesome. From a narrative standpoint because…

…Wow, that is like the most Japanese video game-y thing I’ve ever seen. Like Sephiroth had a baby with Dante. And then put sunglasses on it. 

THANK GOD IT WASN’T CAL THOUGH. God that puppet is so gross. 

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TG: did you guess that by trolling john to his grave
TG: and making me splinter us off into an alt timeline
TG: that you were basically complicit in making our timeline go the way it was supposed to go all along
TG: where future me is now helping dave and we just keep playing
TG: and our actions ultimately lead to the trouble youre all in now
TG: thus leading you all to troll us incompetently
GC: OH
GC: NO >:[
GC: 1 D1DNT TH1NK OF TH4T

Ahahahahahaha! In your face, troll! You go, Davesprite!

I wish I was better at predicting things, I really have no guess about what troubles the trolls are having. I’m not even sure if they want to help our four or hurt them! But I’m hoping that part of the problem is John getting revenge on GC for that shitty trolling.

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Sometimes I don’t want to post my thoughts on things in case I am super wrong and it was already explained and I just forgot. 

Is Skaia Earth? If the black king gets to bombard Skaia when he wins, and Earth is currently being bombarded, then it makes sense, right? Also, Skaia is close to Gaia who is the goddess of Earth and stuff. 

But then that would mean the exiles are on Earth since the white queen is there, right? 

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lol Hussie just showed up? Okay!

BUT YAY. There is a recap! I hope it is helpful and I don’t have to go reread stuff just so I don’t end up looking dumb!

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Hmmm!

Sburb was made by Skaianet.

I am using the recap to locate where I should go back and read.

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I do not like the Black Queen but I am DEFINITELY not okay with Jack cutting off her finger and then killing her. And stealing the sprite powers. Jack is probably way more dangerous than her. He seems seriously unhinged.

And he has whatever super weapon is in the green package. Which Jade says will return to John when he needs it but this is still not good. And soon he’ll have whatever power comes from Jade’s kernelsprite unless she’s intentionally avoiding going to the Medium which wouldn’t surprise me, tbh. 

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Those are my notes so far, thanks to the recap. I started them to keep track of screen names but hey, why not keep track of everything, since this story is so ridiculously complex so far? 

So, since it’s the one year mark and I’ve got a handle on things, a leetle bit of thoughts:

Questions and theories/predictions/wild guesses so far:

So the overriding question I have right now is just how does the trolls’ game differ from the humans’ game? That way I can figure out what’s a normal part of the game (like the exiles and the kernelsprites) and what’s not (like Dave time travelling and having aliens interact with their game). 

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I am having creepy Evangelion flashbacks. Or maybe Matrix? Are these clones or are they being drained for power? Or ~imprisoned~? Did John’s dad and Rose’s mom see this before they went off where ever they went off to?

I thought the chess pieces were just a visual metaphor! 

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Future Dave met Hephaestus, god of the forge, and got a hammer from him? Via shenanigans? It is a cruelty that we did not get to see this!

Please say somebody gets a bow and arrow from Artemis!

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oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit

that’s not good

PM wtf are you doing putting that ring in your pocket the fuck is wrong with you

GO GET IT BACK

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Aw yeah, dream Jade, you are bitchin’. I take back my judgement about Jade sleeping too much.

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This would have been so cool if it was real, though. Lookit that cutie pie. Also then she would be ridiculously powerful and the game would be easy mode.

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Is the Wayward Vagabond ALSO the Warweary Villein? WHOO ONE OF MY QUESTIONS ANSWERED.

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If Jade is the Witch of Space, why is Rose a badass wizard dual wielding needle wands?

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Was Rose trolling Dave about him being the moon prince or is that actually a thing? There is one boy and one girl on each Prospit and Derse, after all…

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HMMMMM

The meteor that struck in the flashback with Dave’s brother struck a lab and “No aquatic life would survive.”

Rather like…LOLAR’s denizen!

Maybe LOWAS has oil problems because a meteor struck the Betty Crocker factory! 

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Wait a second. Did John’s dad just like, pick John up off the street? And did Rose’s mom leave John there? 

Am I getting that right?

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John just cloned babies of the various family members as well as his quatro. I’m too baffled to make a comment other than: That is a thing that just happened.

Also I love that CG and John’s conversations have flipped now, with John being annoyed that CG is repeating things he’s already explained. 

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CG: REALLY THERE’S NOTHING MORE TRAGIC THAN THESE NULL SESSIONS FULL OF KIDS ENTERING THE GAME AND FULFILLING SOME COSMIC DESTINY SHIT JUST TO GET WIPED OUT AND LEAVE BEHIND AN EMPTY POINTLESS INCIPISPHERE FOR ALL ETERNITY.

This makes me wonder if the trolls have interacted with other groups. How would CG know about the other groups, much less care, if they hadn’t? 

Also kind of not surprised that John and Jade are siblings, and so are Rose and Dave. It seemed kind of likely that they would be family. Although this does make me wonder, because the dream selves of either set are together on Prospit or Derse, and Rose said that thing to Dave about him being a moon prince. Maybe the four are going to take the place of the abdicated White Queen and King, and the late Black Queen and King. The numbers fit perfectly, as does the family relations.

Especially since CG said that Jack was the big difference between the troll game and the human one, and Jack was the cause of the abdications and deaths. 

And Nanna and Grandpa were siblings, too, but maybe adoptive siblings? 

And there’s the frog meteor with the flashback of Nanna and Grandpa and a Derse agent being so kind as to accidentally throw copies of Sburb into a time flower thing, so that Jade could get them later. 

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Hey guys check it out, I made an audio reaction!

It has a demo mode thing on it because I do not want to pay for that program. 

I don’t know why the sound quality is so bad. 

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Ok, so you're really not going to comment on the fact that the guardians are literally clones of themselves and therefore have no discernible origin? That doesn't even faze you? ...You're going to do well in this comic :)

I had kind of assumed that they were clones of like, natural born people, but then I guess they showed up via meteor like the kids, so…But that would mean that the whole Sburb thing was set up like at least 100 years prior (since baby Nanna, I think, was shown as first appearing in 1910). And that it was already set up who would end up getting through the bombardment and nobody who wasn’t related to the guardians had a chance. 

Also. I’m really used to stories like this that are so poorly written that those kind of plot holes are normal and not worth pointing out. I guess I should stop thinking that way, eh? 

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I’m kind of sad that the trolls’ dream selves died. Poor guys. :( 

Also how does that even work, do they essentially have two bodies that they switch between? 

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Audio response to Descend, if you want to hear me swear a lot. 

Next ones will have better audio quality. 

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brb, sobbing

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It’s like when the hero walks away from a giant explosion, but here isn’t just delivering a package.

AT LAST THE PACKAGE WHAT IS IN IT I MUST KNOW.

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…

Well, that’s not what I was expecting.

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I’m not crying, there’s just something in my eye!

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This equipment would soon be used to create Becquerel, a mutated combination of the genes from an ordinary dog in the early 20th century, and the DNA code in one of Rose’s journals. AR? hides in the lab when he hears one of Jack’s henchmen, the Draconian Dignitary. DD is carrying Rose’s duplicated journals which he stole from Dave, and Dave’s beta which was used as a bookmark.

Oh shit, Bec was made by one of Jack’s henchmen, using the DNA code Rose was told multiple times to destroy? That cannot be good. Nope, not good at all.